Rekindle Your Relationship

Americans are having sex about 113 times a year—or about twice a week, according to a survey by condom-manufacturer, Durex.

If you’re not happy with how often you and your partner connect, don’t wait for him to create intimacy. Because a woman's libido is affected by how close she feels to her partner, fostering an emotional connection with your mate is especially important for a good sex life, says Vancouver clinical sexologist David McKenzie. So keep things heated up by playing the dating game.

"Carve out one night a week to spend several hours alone together," says McKenzie. Or spend a night at a hotel or out of town. After 21 years of marriage, Robin and her husband have recently started a nightly ritual. "We meet in our hot tub at 11 PM after the kids have gone to bed," she says. "It's our time together to talk over the day and reconnect."

Tip: Don't lose the intimacy of sex. "When you're together long term, it's not unusual for sex to just be intercourse," says Marsman. Enjoy an occasional, fully clothed session of hugging, kissing and touching.

Switch It Up

If you're bored between the sheets, don't endure another night of counting ceiling tiles while your lover gets all the pleasure. Try a new position, suggests Vogels.

"Changing positions not only allows you to discover new sensations but gets you talking and laughing about sex, because some positions are more complicated and require you to figure them out together," she says.

Tip: If you like it on top, try facing the other direction so your back is to your guy.

Rent a For-Her DVD

Exploring erotica that's made for women by women may heighten your arousal. "The brain is your largest sexual organ and erotic material feeds it," explains Mezes. Watching erotic movies once in a while was a guaranteed turn-on for Theresa and her former boyfriend of three years. "We never made it through a whole movie," she recalls. "We'd get to a place where it was working for us and all of a sudden we'd be rolling around on the floor!"

Rent a sexy flick such as Body Heat. Or, for something more explicit, check out Eyes of Desire or Caribbean Heat, two movies by Candida Royalle that are recommended by Carlyle Jansen, owner of Good for Her, a women-oriented sexuality shop and workshop centre in Toronto. She says they "don't have up-close gynecological shots, but show women getting their fair share of the pleasure."

If you'd like to use your imagination instead, Jansen suggests these erotic books: Best of Best Women's Erotica or Ripe Fruit: Erotica for Well-Seasoned Lovers, both by Marcy Sheiner.

Tip: Too embarrassed to hit the local sex shop? Buy erotica online from a site that offers delivery.