Reach for Lube

Lubrication is important for preventing pain during intercourse, says Dr. Stephen Holzapfel, MD, medical director of the Sexual Medicine Counseling Unit at Sunnybrook and Women's College Health Sciences Centre in Toronto. If you're not naturally producing enough wetness, don't hesitate to use a lubricant. And remember: being dry is not a direct indication of your interest level.

"Some women get aroused without lubricating significantly," says Dr. Holzapfel. If lube doesn’t help, talk to your doctor: according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist one in six women experiences pain with sex due to a treatable gynecological problem.

Tip: Vaginal yeast infections, breastfeeding, menopause, and fear of sexual pain can all cause vaginal dryness. Talk to your doctor for more information.

It's Not Me, It’s Him

If your partner is experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED), don't blame it on yourself. "Couples use his erection as a barometer of his turn-on," explains Joan Marsman, a marriage and sex therapist in Toronto. But ED—a condition where your partner can't achieve a full erection or loses it before ejaculation—is normal in some men as a result of aging or stress, and often has very little to do with how sexually aroused your partner feels.

"If he's not getting an erection, talk about what's going on so you can be reassured it has nothing to do with you," says Marsman. And while it is a delicate subject, it's worth urging your partner to talk with a physician right away.

Tip: Don't be surprised if, when your partner has ED, you temporarily misplace your libido. Research from the University of Western Ontario shows this is often the case; however, the problem can be remedied when your partner's ED is treated.

Go to Bed More—To Sleep

Getting at least seven to nine hours of sleep a night (most adults get an average of just 6.9 hours) won't just keep you in the sack with your lover longer, it could result in more sex. Nearly a quarter of people who are in a relationship have sex less often because they are too sleepy, according to a recent poll by the US National Sleep Foundation.

Aside from being too tired for sex, "if you don't get enough sleep, you're cranky and irritable, which will have an impact on all aspects of your life, including your relationship or sex life," says Dr. Meir Kryger, MD, director of the Sleep Disorders Centre at St. Boniface Hospital Research Centre at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg. Talk to your doctor if you're not getting enough sleep.

Tip: Instead of falling into bed exhausted at midnight, make time for sex by getting under the sheets together earlier, says Dr. Posen.

Do You Have a Low Libido?

Libido levels can vary widely from one woman to another, and there is no one perfect way to measure your sex drive. Generally, if you feel less desire than usual and you're distressed about it, you shouldn't hesitate to visit your doctor, because there may be a simple remedy.

Tip: Even if you're not worried about your lack of sex drive, you should mention it at your next checkup so your doctor can rule out medical causes such as diabetes, hypothyroidism (low thyroid) and menopause, says Dr. Holzapfel. Other potential causes of a low libido: alcohol use; past sexual traumas; medications for high blood pressure, asthma and rheumatoid arthritis; antidepressants; breastfeeding; and the pill.