If you get the sense that your partner just isn't that into you (and he doesn't have ED), realize that—contrary to common gender stereotypes—some men simply aren't as sexually active as others. Sheila of Calgary experiences this with her partner. "My boyfriend is only 25 and I'm 24 and we're madly in love, but he doesn't initiate sex," she says. "It makes me feel unattractive. I have stopped hoping this might be the night—for fear of being rejected."

Marsman says women shouldn't panic or internalize a less than enthusiastic response to a sexual overture. She says it's a good sign if your partner is affectionate and loving outside the bedroom. Try to enjoy those occasions and, once in a while, use them as opportunities to initiate a lovemaking session.

Tip: What should you do if he's cold outside of the bedroom, too? "There might be more going on because he's not making himself available to you in more ways than one," says Marsman. It may be time to reassess your relationship. Talk with a close friend, and seek the help of a professional relationship therapist.

Love Your Body

Lemme guess...you're pretty sure you'd be a tigress in bed if you could just shed those last 10 pounds? How you feel about your body may indeed be affecting your sex life.

According to a review of studies in the Journal of Sex Research, women who were more satisfied with their bodies or considered themselves attractive reported having more sexual initiation, activity, sexual partners, and orgasms than those who were dissatisfied.

Try changing your attitude, and start by listening to your inner voice. If you're criticizing a body part, stop yourself and make a positive comment about it instead. And if you do feel sluggish, rundown and unattractive, do something about it, says Marsman. You'll feel better just by cutting out a few hundred extra calories a day and slipping in a 20-minute walk. Quitting smoking will also improve your sex life.

Tip: Put in a steamy flick after your next at-home workout.  This may seem a bit quirky, but several studies by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin discovered that women who watched an erotic film after exercising experienced significantly higher levels of sexual arousal compared with non-exercisers.

Make More Time for Making Out

Can't get in the mood when you know the laundry is piled Everest high? A study in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality revealed that married women are more likely to have a low sex drive than unmarried women, and less likely to have an orgasm during intercourse. Busier lives may be to blame, according to the researchers.

So get your spouse to pitch in more around the house. If one person is doing substantially more than the other, she may feel resentful or taken for granted, which is not good for any relationship, much less a sexual one, explains Dr. David Posen, PhD, stress consultant and author of The Little Book of Stress Relief.

“Hidden anger or unresolved conflict can lead to lack of desire, for women in particular," agrees McKenzie. So always try to deal with conflict head-on, he says. If you need help communicating, consider getting outside counseling with your significant other.

Tip: There's nothing wrong with a quickie when you're both short on time. But don't settle for a few hasty thrusts for his pleasure alone, says Mezes. "Stimulate yourself during sex and have an orgasm."